I read that Van Gough had cut his whole ear and gave it to his prostitute as a present. Isn't that nice. That is what I am afraid that my insanity will become of me. I need to arise from this depression and try to ignore reality. Stephan is really helping me as he has gone through what I've gone through. I've stopped comparing my life with other people, as if I'm not insane as it is. I am tired and suffering from fatigue which really means I am over thinking and cannot sleep.
I've started university and every given time I am not reading my uni lecture slides or book, I am paranoid. I've tried to achieve a distinction before and it is making me nervous. Rationality tells me to stay grounded and focus on one thing at a time or I am tumbling down a hill. I can only wait for a few days to see how my condition will go. Paranoia is a strong symptom of my condition as I am trying hard to control it. I am seriously thinking of taking medication but at the same time I wonder if not relying on a western medication is a possibility.I thought writing would help me with my condition but it only magnifies it a million times more. I am wanting to learn latin as I hope one day it would save my life. Is even thinking like this healthy?? I think not as it makes sense that Latin is the oldest European language.
Stephan has gone to bed, I know I need to as well.
